I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
