Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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