so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
