So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
