Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
