called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There's a naked man in my car right now.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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