question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
