i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Couch. On fire.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
