Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
