Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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