I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
