If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
