i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Randomize
