It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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