If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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