I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
