Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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