he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
