that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
