apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
