giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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