Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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