just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
