One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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