So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
