I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
