operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
