No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
