Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
