I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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