My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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