too bad you live with your parents still
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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