Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
