...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
