At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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