You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm both gender and math confused
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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