So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize