Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
bring money and cleavage
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
