i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i think my mom watched the whole time
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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