beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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