its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
