I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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