My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
