I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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