i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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