ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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