I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
