Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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