The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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