It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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