And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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