i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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