your thong is hanging out like whoa
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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