yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
