He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
