so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
