I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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