He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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